LOVELAND — Colorado’s chief oil and gas regulator said critics of fracking and public officials trying to regulate the energy industry are working hard to drive up the cost of home heating and cooling.
When residents “storm city hall and demand you protect their health, safety and welfare armed with misinformation,” they fail to draw a connection between a ban on fracking and the cost of natural gas, Colorado Oil and Gas Conservation Commission Director Matt Lepore said Tuesday, speaking at the Northern Colorado Energy Summit.
If you look at the demographics of anti-fracking activists, he said, they are generally affluent enough not to be concerned with the cost of home heating and cooling, he said.
“A ban on fracking is really a ban on drilling,” he said. “A ban on fracking means an increase in coal use to generate electricity. It means an increase in local costs of electricity.”
Ohmigod. He’s so right. And here’s proof. Those anti-fracking fracktivists have yet to block one permit or stop any drilling or fracking anywhere in the state and they’ve already caused a hefty increase in natural gas prices for home heating and cooling: Rising price of natural gas puts pressure on Xcel customer bills.
Wow. They must be really powerful. Just by organizing communities and speaking out against fracking they can drive up consumer natural gas prices — by almost 6%!
Who are these people?
According to Lepore, the anti-fracking activists are affluent and are not concerned about the cost of heating and cooling their homes. That means they don’t pay much attention to the utility bills for their big affluent homes. That means their homes must be outfitted with solar panels. That means the utility company probably pays them for energy. That means they don’t care if the middle-class and working poor have to pay higher prices for natural gas. That means these affluent people don’t care about people like you and me.
Anti-fracking activists are affluent people. Affluent people are anti-fracking fracktivists. Remember the photo of those affluent Boulder people at the anti-fracking demonstration in affluent Aspen.
Take a good, hard look at these affluent people. See what Lepore means? They don’t care about people like you and me.
That means all the rest of us – middle class, upper-middle class, lower middle-class, retired, working poor, non-working poor, unemployed, stay-at-home moms, stay-at-home dads, traveling businessmen, students, politicians, homeless, alcoholics, drug addicts, bloggers – who are living in the middle of the gas patch and are worried about the impacts to our air and water and health, surrounded by empty houses and declining home values; all along we’ve been duped by the rich.
I feel so foolish. After all, everybody knows rich people are just like big corporations. They will go to extreme measures to control the outcome.
So, you know what this means.
It means we need to stop all this anti-frack-tivating all over the place and just accept that air pollution, groundwater contamination, and the degradation of public health are part of the New Third World Order. If we come to our senses in time — and I mean don’t even THINK about banning fracking — then maybe, just maybe, if we stop blindly following the rich like sheep, the cost of heating and cooling our homes will magically go down. And we will all live happily ever after.
Nobody wants to end up like those affluent anti-fracking activists. What a bunch of losers. Real people drink the fracking fluid.
Fracking detractors are trying to “scare the crap out of everybody with the wrong facts and making things up,” said Weld County Commissioner Barbara Kirkmeyer, who was moderating the discussion between Lepore and Anadarko regulatory affairs manager Brad Miller.
“They’re out there saying all sorts of things about how it’s contaminating the groundwater, and, you know, that’s not true,” Kirkmeyer said …
Of course not. The groundwater contamination from the Parachute Creek spill, and the West Divide Creek seep, and the Suncor spill in Sand Creek, and Pavillion, Wyoming, and Dish, Texas, and Dimmock, Pennsylvania … none of that was caused by fracking.
Probably those affluent anti-fracking fracktivists again. They just frack-bricated all that stuff. Take it from the oil & gas industry. They know how much money it takes to frack with the facts.
When asked by a member of the audience whether the oil and gas industry should work with local school districts to educate kids about the value of oil and gas as a way to boost industry public relations, both Miller and Kirkmeyer said such plans are already underway.
“We have to educate the youth and start there, and we also have to educate the general public as well,” [Anadarko regulatory affairs manager Brad Miller] said. “Both of those programs need to start now. The industry is starting that.”
Brilliant. Frack with the kids. Let’s face it, fracking is a really cool word cuz it sounds like another word they can’t say in front of the parents. But Mom and Dad just laugh when the kids say “frack this” or “fracking that.” Fracking is good, clean family fun.
And speaking of scaring the crap out of our youth, in Colorado, 9.1% of children have asthma, higher than the national average of 8.9%. If the industry is as smart as they think they are, they will take advantage of that while educating the kids.
Introducing Arthur the Asthmatic. Don’t tell him he’s sick or he’ll frack you up. Asthma is where it’s at. Clean air and safe drinking water are for sissies. Bottled water and inhalers are fracking cool. Not only that, his mom and dad save a bundle on home heating and cooling costs – almost enough to pay his medical bills.
Here’s another one for Lepore, the frackinator. Get a load of this rich, wacky frack-tivist dude out there scaring the crap out of real people who are concerned about the cost of home heating and cooling. Only affluent people buy into that climate change clap-trap.
… Both the horizontal drilling and fracturing have been around for a long time. The industry will tell you this over and over again – they’ve been around for 60 years, things like that. That is correct. What’s different is the volume of fracking fluids and the volume of flow-back that occurs in these wells. It is 50 to 100 times more than what was used in the conventional wells.
The other [difference] is that the rock above the target zone is not necessarily impervious the way it was in the conventional wells. And to me that last point is at least as big as the volume. The industry will tell you that the mile or two between the zone that’s being fracked is not going to let anything come up.
But there are already cases where the methane gas has made it up into the aquifers and atmosphere. Sometimes through old well bores, sometimes through natural fissures in the rock. What we don’t know is just how much gas is going to come up over time. It’s a point most people haven’t gotten. It’s not just what’s happening today. We’re opening up channels for the gas to creep up to the surface and into the atmosphere. And methane is a much more potent greenhouse gas in the short term – less than 100 years – than carbon dioxide …