From the Styx by Peggy Tibbetts

Happy Halloween!

It was tempting to go with “stay the course” this month. But that’s really the death of a talking point. And the Stephanie Miller Show and Countdown with Keith Olbermann offered up such magnificent eulogies last week that nothing more needs to be said – except AMEN.

However I will say that “stay the course” does get the October Newspeak Honorable Mention.

So without further delay the October Newspeak Award goes to the AARP for their Don’t Vote campaign.

I mean how right wing is that? Okay, sure, what they MEAN is don’t vote unless you know where the candidates stand on the issues. Meanwhile the candidates are out there flinging personal attacks, lawsuits and hatespeak at each other. What does the AARP mean by “issues”? Issues like who has more of potty mouth, or writes dirtier books, or breaks more campaign laws – or just plain everyday laws?

As I’ve mentioned once or twice before –

VOTING IS A RIGHT, NOT A PRIVILEGE.

So that means even if you’re rich, poor, ignorant, stupid, retarded, mentally ill, psychotic, blind, deaf, handicapped, old, drunk, stoned – WHATEVER – you get to vote as long as you are 18 years old and a citizen of the US. At least that’s how it worked when I was an election judge. I never asked a single voter if he or she was “informed” before I handed a ballot to him or her. Because I really didn’t care. It was my job to make sure that everyone in the polling place voted.

Judging from the Don’t Vote campaign, obviously mine is not a popular opinion these days. You know, that everyone has the right to vote even if they’re ignorant on the issues and the candidates. But that’s how I feel. And I’m also right.

Voting is not rocket science. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to walk into a voting booth and cast a ballot. It’s easy. Who hasn’t voted on a ballot issue or race without a single clue as to who stood where on what? When I lived in Minnesota I rarely read ballot initiatives ahead of time because the legislature had passed a law saying that ballot initiatives had to be worded in clear, concise language – read “no double negatives” – so as not to mislead the electorate. So the ballot initiatives were easy readers and the answers were clear and simple.

Living in Colorado the past 10 years, I’ve had to study the amendments, referendums, etc, ahead of time because each one is worded like a crossword puzzle and goes on for days. It’s ridiculous. So anyway, believe me, my first couple elections when I faced those double negative word fests on the ballot I made some keenly uneducated guesses. And I didn’t know the clerk of court from the treasurer. I just voted against whoever was in office.

Hey, even this time when I voted by mail, with the internets in front of me AND my Colorado bluebook I STILL got one of the amendments wrong! I forgot which one. I mean I’m about as issue informed as a voter gets and they still fooled me.

It’s too bad the AARP didn’t use its money and clout to back a campaign that says:

Don’t’ Be Intimidated!
VOTE!

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